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friends

I’m worried about a friend who seems in a bad place

Thank you for realizing that there is a chance your friend is not in a good place; that can be hard for people to realize and even harder for them to take action. When I realized I had a friend who was not in the best place, I was scared to talk to them about it. However, after I did, I felt so much better and I could tell they felt so seen and thankful someone cared about them so much. Has something shifted in your friend that makes you think they are in a bad place? Has their attitude changed? Have they been acting differently? Or, have they said something to you? You may want to start by talking to them and asking how they are feeling or how they are doing, and do not be afraid to ask twice, as they will be more likely to tell you the truth then. Be there to support your friend, and encourage them to reach out to a trusted adult for help. You are a great friend for caring about them.

Some helpful resources:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhX12JZVY78

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XFd0RLKQWA&t=1s

https://www.teenhealth101.org/post/how-to-talk-to-someone-with-mental-health-problems

My friends stopped talking to me

Ugh, this is never fun to deal with. Why do friends ghost other friends? It just makes no sense and it is so upsetting and unfair! This has also happened to me, though, and it was extremely hard to deal with. However, after some time, I realized we were all going down different paths in life and we simply had separate beliefs that were not conducive to us all still being friends. In your situation, was there something that happened prior to them no longer talking to you, like a disagreement or an argument? If so, maybe take some time to collect your thoughts and then reach out to them and tell them that you would like to speak with them. If nothing happened, while it may be hard to hear, these are most likely not the friends for you because true friends do not ghost their friends. While it might hurt now, know that you are that much closer to finding friends who will genuinely care about you.

A helpful resource:

https://www.healthline.com/health/beware-the-one-sided-friendship#the-effects

My friends are talking badly about me… I heard through other people

UGH, why do friends talk badly about their other friend(s), it makes no sense?! One time this happened to me, and I was so angry. However, when I confronted my friends and talked to them about it, I understood it was a whole misunderstanding and the other people who told me were just trying to upset me and separate me from my friends. Is there any proof that your friends are talking badly about you, such as text messages? Regardless, do not immediately jump to conclusions and trust the other people. Plan to talk to your friends about the situation and take time to think about what you want to say. Whether there is “proof” or not, tell them what you have been told by others and say how you just wanted to hear everything from their side. If they get super defensive or aggressive, it is likely they were caught talking badly about you. If they seem genuinely confused or upset, it is likely they really were not talking about you. Pay attention to their facial expressions, body language and tone of voice and spend some time after the conversation thinking about how it went. Take a look at this article to see if you notice anything similar to how your friends treat you. If you notice something more than just “gossip,” they might not be the right friends for you.

A helpful resource:

https://www.healthline.com/health/toxic-friendships#effects-on-you

My parents are arguing and home does not feel like a safe space

I am sorry you are going through this. It is always tragic when you watch family members you love fight with one another. It might be best if you have a trusted adult, like someone at school or another family member, you can speak with about this, especially if you do not feel safe. Depending on the situation, if you feel comfortable, it might be worth it to try and have a conversation with your parents about how their fighting upsets you and you do not feel happy or safe anymore. Find someone to talk to, as you do not deserve to keep your emotions bottled up and you deserve feeling safe in your own house.

My only friend got a significant other and I feel left behind

Do you feel left behind because you do not have a significant other or because your friend is not spending as much time with you?  If you do not have a significant other, give yourself time. The right person will come into your life when you least expect it. If you feel you are losing your friend to their new significant other, your friend is likely losing track of time and being swept up by everything “new.” Give them some time to figure everything out. If things are not getting better, reach out and say how you are so happy for your friend, but you really miss spending time with them. Try to come up with a concrete plan of spending time together that both you and your friend can look forward to. I remember when one of my good friends got a boyfriend, I did not get to see her as much. However, after a few months, she realized how much time she was spending with her boyfriend, and not with me, and she made a huge effort to hang out with me more, which I appreciated! I gave her the time and space she needed, and when she realized she needed to change I was right there waiting for her.

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